I had a beautiful breakfast this morning (a relative term, I assure you). Green seedless grades still wet from a cold rinse, a firm plum cut in quarters with the stone removed, half an orange leftover from a marinade I made last night, a white peach dripping with flavor, and a handful of raspberries and black berries.
Free entirely of dairy, egg and gluten, just like everything else I will eat from now on. Today's breakfast was wonderful, but I'll admit I'm having trouble seeing equal beauty in all of my allergy free options.
I have known that I shouldn't eat dairy for all of my life, I am no stranger to dairy substitutes, milk with no animal fat that refuses to foam, cheese that won't melt. Sometimes I was good, and I went long enough without the real thing that even these substitutes were good enough.
Sometimes I was bad. Sometimes, I made pumpkin pie with real, sweetened condensed milk. I made cheesecake with a graham cracker crumb crust, held together by good old butter. Lots of butter. I relished the sweet creamy goodness of ice cream, of those pastry puffs. The world was full of delicious dairy and I loved it. My body didn't, and I've always known that.
Recently, in a quest to quell the headaches that keep me diffused and uncomfortable the majority of my conscious hours, I started seeing a naturopath. He suggested a blood allergy test. A few weeks later, and just a few days ago, I got the results. I am so severely reactive to dairy (surprise surprise) and eggs (that one was actually a surprise) that I can't eat them at all. I was only slightly less reactive to gluten. Do you know what is in almost everything? Dairy, egg or gluten. Often two or all three of the above. The doc dangled a wispy hope before me, perhaps, in time, I can reintroduce them, I can eat a small amount again.
I can't think that way. I can't live that way; Living on the precipice, just getting along until I am "allowed" to eat my favorite things again. For me to stick with this, for it to work, I have to make this a lifestyle change. I need to find the beauty and the flavor in the foods that my body can gain nourishment from. I need to enjoy these foods for what they are, not despise them because they are not cheesecake, pumpkin pie, or cream puffs. A peach will never be a cream puff.
Blogs like Gluten Free Girl and the Chef are inspiring- but at the same time, a little depressing. She can't have gluten, and has found a world of delicious flavor. The vast majority of her recipes include eggs or dairy. As they should, she can eat them. In the little research I've done, I've found that to be pretty true. Most things, if they are free of one of my allergens, include one of the others.
It is amazing how the resources for gluten free food abound- Triumph Dining sells stickers to label your food, restaurant and grocery guides, and even dining cards so you can communicate with servers despite language barriers about your gluten free needs. That's great, it's really awesome. Can I have one that talks about my diary and egg free needs too? Can I buy a book that talks about what restaurants and companies serve and sell food without dairy, egg or gluten? It would be nice, but I guess that would make it less of an adventure.
I'm really going to be okay, and like I keep telling myself, if this rids me of my headaches, it is more than worth it. I'll do it for the rest of my life, no questions asked. DONE. After a while of fruit and vegetables and meat, I will regain my spark of adventure. I'll try a batch of muffins with alternative flour, soy butter, and applesauce instead of eggs. I'll eat more salads, which really was never a strength of mine.
I'll buy cookbooks, and try things, and I think with time the appreciation of my body feeling better will make it easier to see how good this change is for me. Maybe I'll share some of my recipes here. I can't be the only one who isn't eating dairy, egg or gluten.
Incidentally, I wouldn't think there would be egg or gluten in imitation crab, would you? Yeah, we'd both be wrong. Days without dairy, egg or gluten: 0
